Often, divorce gives impetus to start a new life. But it is not always a decision on the union breaking is mutual. It happens that the initiator of parting is the husband, and the wife still has the feelings for their man. In such a situation, a woman, of course, would like to return the former spouse as soon as possible. In the article, we will discuss how to get together with a man after parting.
Is it worth restoring relationships?
Marriage termination brings not joyful emotions. Often, women fall into depression and long can not take themselves in hand. Especially hard to worry the divorce in the event that the husband remains to her husband. Woman desperately wants to restore relationships. Sometimes it seems to her that she is ready for almost everything, just to force her husband to return to the family.
In such a situation, it is important to give yourself a little cool. Impulsive impulses sometimes lead to the consequences of which they have to regret. Give emotions at least calming down a little to think about the whole situation as sober and rationally.
So you dreamed of a man and now you really want him to return to you. This desire is quite logical, But it is worth checking, for your own good, how sincere it is. Perhaps you are mainly only the resentment and disadvantaged pride.
Often, women are shamed that they could not keep the spouse. In such situations, they seek to return everything to their circles only to prove those survivors. However, with the return of a man, with this approach, old problems will be returned.
When the husband goes to another woman, an abandoned wife can put on behalf of any ways to break their pair. Including actively trying to lure a former spouse back. Of course, this adventure is likely not to lead to anything good.
Analyze your relationship in marriage and your feelings. What did you feel, being with this person? What do you feel and worry after his care? How really you really satisfied your marriage relationships and cohabitation?
Agree, completely in the scratch pair do not disintegrate. And then you still had certain problems. Whether they were in her husband or in you, not particularly important. The key in such a situation is whether you have both desire and readiness to work on the shortcomings and errors. Without such a job, your reunion may be useless and unpromising.
Another important point in making a decision to restore the family is that a person changes with time. You can expect a husband for the same, as you knew him in marriage. However, various events and a separate life from you could impose a serious imprint on his personal qualities. Your man can change some glances, become more emotional or, on the contrary, how to get into yourself. It may well change the feelings that he experienced to you once.
So: before moving on, let’s summarize all the above described. Think of your desire to restore relationships with a former husband. Check your feelings for sincerity. Try to honestly figure out how to attack your desire to return the spouse in the family. If this is still infringement of pride or revenge of his new passion, then most likely your restored alliance will still not withstand time testing. For a full recovery of a couple, the mutual sincere desire of each partner is important.
Tips for psychologist
The union that collapsed, but was again restored after some time, it has certain advantages:
- Partners already have experience in collaborative living and maintaining life+
- It is possible to take into account past errors in relationships and work them+
- The spouses concerned after parting well know the characters and personal characteristics of each other, thereby eliminating the “Firoff” stage.
If you all weighed and firmly decided to converge with a former husband, you have a lot of work. Its duration and success depend on the specific situation: from the circumstances and the reasons for the gap, from your relationship after a divorce, from the presence of common children and a new passion from the spouse.
To begin with, develop the most appropriate tactics for you, considering the features of the personality and the nature of your husband. If after breaking you stayed in good relationships and support communication, it will be a big plus. If you were collapsed like a cat with a dog, and my husband had a woman, this, alas, a more complex task. But be sure, hope and the chances of reunification after parting is there anyway.
In your behavior, follow the following tactics and general rules.
- Immediately after the rupture, you should not impose reunification. Permissible only to understand what husband you do not drive. Do not break with him contacts on their own initiative. However, if a man himself does not want to communicate with you for some time, do not insist and do not press him. Cheat for some period and post for the development of the situation.
- Do not try to bring up the former spouse with sexual handouts. Intimate intimate intimate proximity can create an opposite effect. A man may be extricted as an opportunity to receive sex from you without any obligations, while being free.
- Return love men can help common children. Organize a joint holiday and walk along with dad. During such events, you can chat or recall the fun and pleasant moments of your life together.
- At meetings with a former spouse, try to adjust your behavior at those moments that were previously annoyed or were unpleasant to him. For example, my husband did not like your excessive talkativeness, then rear themselves and learn to listen with interest. Maybe you care about it little and problems. Then show him that you are not indifferent to his successes at work. But it is important not to replay. Fake participation, contrived questions will give your pretense.
- Become in the eyes of your husband a newer and interesting. Do any hobby or creativity. It can be a good topic for conversation. Perhaps the husband will also be interested in your new occupation. And if not, you can still count on the fact that some changes in your life will attract his attention.
- After what has already happened, leave in the past the clarification of relationships, reproaches and claims. If they are so often attended in your marriage, then their repetition will only remove the former spouse. After all, he will understand that nothing has changed and all the same life awaits him, from which he has just been able to escape.
At a certain stage of convergence, it becomes necessary to inform a man about your desire to restore relationships. Naturally, doing it is best not by phone and not an SMS message, but with a personal conversation, looking into the eyes. This will emphasize sincerity and seriousness of your intentions.
With such a conversation, you should not hurry. It should not be done immediately after breaking. Wait until the passion is hunting, and you will be sure that you have prepared a certain soil for reunification.
Naturally, such a conversation is always held alone, without foreign people near. It is also important to remember that In this situation, do not at all act as a humiliated asylum. You only inform the former about what is ready and have a desire to restore the family.
Therefore, the degree of preparedness for such a conversation of the man itself is very important. Before deciding to such a conversation, appreciate the situation. If not confident in a positive footing of a beloved, having having a conversation.
During the conversation, do not throw reproach and comments in the address of the former husband. Present your vision of the situation and ways to solve the problems that led to a rupture. Apologize for your mistakes. Do not force her husband to ask for forgiveness, in this case it will be formal and insincere. Man is able to apologize and start working on himself only to realize its shortcomings and adopting their fact.
Perhaps you will get a negative answer. Let’s say right away, this is not a reason for despair and not at all. In any case, now your spouse knows that you have the intention to restore the relationship. And this is a big plus. After all, if he himself suddenly experience such a desire, he will no longer be afraid and postpone his decision to return to you.
However, the main thing for you is to accept the refusal worthy. Try to hold back emotions, although, of course, maybe it will not be very simple for you. Do not incite the scandal and do not waste all the bridges. Just the desired result will have to wait a bit, and perhaps somewhat change your tactics.
Method of removal
This model of behavior and actions can work in case the rupture occurred about a year ago or more. During this time, a man has time to taste aspects of life out of marriage and drop away from the former spouse. That is, a few months after the divorce, her husbands often perceive their former wives almost on par with the rest of women.
During this period, you can reappear in his life and try to fall in love with yourself. Of course, in such a situation your image is very important. Coastry and light flirt will also have to be used. In general, everything, as at the very beginning of relations with a new partner. Let a man re-achieve you, surrounds romantics and signs of attention. Having a little at the physical proximity so that he does not have the impression that you are still ready for any concessions for any concessions.
Often, a former partner opens his woman for himself as if from the new side. Naturally, all its negative qualities and habits are needed in this case to deteriorate.
What if a man lives on another?
Not always a former husband can breed separation alone. Often a divorced man quite quickly finds himself a passion and because of this does not want to return to the family.
Undoubtedly, such a situation is more complicated. To begin with, dispersion whether their relationship really happened after your parting. If a man already had a connection with another woman during a marriage, this soil was prepared. Perhaps his decision to leave you suspended and not spontaneous.
The second option – the factory of the relationship called former wife. There is more likely that they will not be durable and successful.
In any case, you remain patient. During meetings and communication, try to look in the eyes of the former as profitable and more interesting. Very can be, comparing your marriage and your new relationship, he bends to choose the choice of the usual life and furnishings. New Passasy is also not perfect. There is a chance that she will make not one mistake and thus will soon stop the fire of feelings of his cavaller.
How to avoid mistakes?
Do not lower your hands and do not despair. Life is a very unpredictable thing. If you definitely set a goal, boldly and firmly go to her. The only condition in this situation is perhaps the weighing of its decisions and the exclusion of treacherous and impulsive actions. Also bad assistant for you will be full of your inaction.
Do not launch yourself, stay beautiful, successful and interesting. Yes, the divorce is a very difficult event, but not deadly. Give yourself some time to sink, spoil and come to yourself, but do not tighten this period. Follow the figure, create yourself a new style, deal with sports. In the end, from any situation you need to be able to allocate positive impulses and new opportunities.
Do not get sick with friends and relatives of your husband, as well as with your common friends. Otherwise it will create an opinion about you as a scandalist. In addition, these people are not guilty of your personal problems and begging. Continuing to communicate with the closest former, you will increase your chances of reuniting with it.
Do not attack your husband with calls and SMS without reason, as well as for far-fisified reasons. Do not be annoying and overly assertive.
A big mistake is to think about children in your situation. Do not manipulate them, do not set them up against your father and do not forbid them to communicate. Better, on the contrary, consider themselves in their meetings and come up with an interesting joint vacation.
“Pouring mud” left you a spouse will also not decorate you in his eyes. Your intimate affairs, shortcomings, weaknesses and punctures should in any case stay between you. If you have an idea to discuss dirty details or complain about the former someone, ask yourself only one question: “How would I feel if my husband did something like that?”
Apathy, inaction and care does not shift the situation. Depression is often a companion of painful parting, but you need to deal with it. If you are very hard and you can not cope with the oppressed state, contact a specialist – psychologist or psychotherapist. This is a completely normal practice that will help you get out of a difficult situation and move on.
Do not insist on communicating, if a man clearly made it clear that at the moment it does not want. Outlusion and pressure will make it even more to move away from you and break all the contacts.
In the case when the former has a different woman, do not climb into their relationship. Do not call and do not threaten with a new choices, do not arrange scandals. It is the choice of your husband, so if you act on someone, then only on it. Excessive greed and concerns in financial matters, extorting money from the former spouse will also significantly worsen the opinion of you.
Realizing your mistakes, do not leave them without study. A man hardly wants to return “in the same river”. And if your marriage was for him something like a cell with an uncomfortable atmosphere, without change and work on themselves to return the husband most likely it will not work.
Surely during the joint stay you have already been able to realize your shortcomings and weaknesses of nature. It’s time to try to adjust them. A specialist psychologist can be provided with good help.
Do not try to delete the former husband, coming to meetings in an unsightly form. Pity – it’s still not love, and not even sympathy. And your task is to return the interest of a man to you and restore your family. Only successful, interesting and confident woman will attract attention and again will love.
About whether to return to the former relationship, look in the video below.