Perhaps any man had to deal with the female offend. When an offended woman knows how to talk his insult, and a man knows how to listen and understand, then it is easy for them to solve the questions painful in relations. But it happens that the reason for the insult to a man is incomprehensible to the spouse and he does not know how to behave in such a situation. And sometimes the woman itself it is difficult to understand yourself and cope with the offend. How to understand each other and yourself and what to do in such a situation?
Why a woman is offended?
We will proceed from the fact that the man is unknown the cause of resentment. Then it can manifest this way: she closed, communicates coldly, does not speak without talking or, on the contrary, it becomes too demanding, “sawd”, picks up on trifles.
The reasons for this may be many. Here are just some: fatigue, inattention, offensive words, jealousy, misunderstanding and so on. But, ultimately, they all raise a mute request (or requirement) women to pay attention to it.
Psychology calls such behavior manipulation. The main sign of the manipulator is insincerity, such a person does not speak directly about his needs, but looking for a different kind of workaround and makes it unconsciously.
To manipulation, people with a weak will are most often resorted. They are great that his direct request is made, ignore, will not hear.
So you need to look deeper. Then, given the emergencyness of such behavior and weakness of the one who is offended, it can be understood that the resentment on his beloved has no evil intent, but by and large asks for attention and needs his inner strength and support.
As a partner behave?
For men, it’s not a secret for a long time that women are married including because they need their strength, protection and support. Unfortunately, in the men’s circle, only physical strength is often understood under protection and support.
But the truth is that a woman often needs moral support no less. Inside, a strong man will always notice when his companion is disturbing something and will not dismiss her experience.
For women Attention, husband’s care – as a battery charger. They charge from ordinary words and hugs and become tireless generators from affection. Woman just waiting for good words.
It happens that the girl turns out to be an overly capricious special, which does not calm down, even when you collected all your understanding and seems to you, posted in full. At this point, it is better to take a pause and think about what: Men are accustomed to the relationship “Eague OKO”, and women in their nature are alien aggression. therefore If the tired wife begins to “bite” you, drill with words and “let me poison”, then this does not mean that you need to put a return kick – it will only be worse than both. It’s just a signal that energy is over, it’s time to “charge batteries”.
And indeed, many women confirm that their hands are lowered without the support of his beloved, the life force go somewhere and they themselves are not happy. And then I just want a little attention from my husband: together walk under the handle on the autumn park and express your excitement and care, so that he just listened, not interrupting and not arguing.
The fact is that modern men, many of the matriarchate and feminism, sincerely believed in the fact that a woman can be strong: supervisor, businesswoman, athlete, climber, Komsomol and T. D. Yes, and women themselves almost believed in it. But their true essence, gentle and fragile, does not humble with this state of affairs in society and is trying to break established stereotypes in its respect. True, does it not always skillfully. But thanks to this manifestations, men can know exactly: in front of them a real woman.
When young people still dream of a family, then often do not realize that the family is not only and not so much a permanent holiday, but also thrust daily and hourly labor on relationships. But this work will pay for them by a hundredfold, and soon they will feel that he brings them an extraordinary joy of reciprocity, penetration and creativity with their chosen.
If you do not forget that any relationships are created not only in favor of their loved one, but for a common good, then efforts spent on the construction of relations will bring greater joy. The same advice will be suitable for women: Do not forget every day to take care of your “Garden of Love”, and, like a real garden, giving it away from weeds-offended, watering good thoughts and words and feed the balm tenderness.
How to figure out my girlfriend and let go of the offense?
It often happens that girls are not recognized in their insult, including a kind of game, and the guy may not guessed about the reason for your resentment. These reasons can often be subjective. It happens that for her something is unacceptable in his behavior, and for him it is the norm. For example, a man, making a compliment to another girl, just showed courtesy, and his companion offended.
So as not to be offended in yourself, the girl you just need to talk to your loved one and express what she has in the soul. If the guy apologized, acknowledged a mistake, and you still can’t calm down, it’s possible that someone else’s opinion affects you, and someone is not enough “subtle” this way to cope with trouble – to be offended. For example, your girlfriends had a similar negative experience and they advise you “not forgive a villain”.
It’s time to damage the inner purity. Remember and take all similar situations of your girlfriends and close people in which they also offended men. Soberly analyze these situations and determine who is really right. And even if a friend or mom had a reason for the resentment, tell me that it is not your experience, but the experience of your girlfriend (mothers and t. NS.). Your situation with the spouse, perhaps, something similar to them, but you are very different people and you can have other things in many ways. And henceforth, proceed from the circumstances of your particular situation and the characteristics of your and your companion.
Do not let the speculations interfere with your life and partner relations.
If the guy does not recognize his mistake, you can express my opinion to him, but after that you need to calm down and forgive the insult. It will help get rid of her. Do not be afraid to be too soft and vapor. On the contrary, for goodbye, you will notice that internally become more stable and strong. And you can no longer confuse even someone attempt to assert. You perceive everything calmly, keeping an internal equilibrium. Next to such peace disappears any desire to “try” and provoke. Being close to such peace and such confidence, I want to penetrate them, and cooperate with you.
Wear offenses – it means worse to do only yourself. Man offended like a pulling cargo heavy truck (and indeed: unsecured resentment lie, like a stone on the heart): He’s sad, soft, with such a person I don’t want to be near long. Harmony creates unhealthy. Unrecognized resentment cause nervous tension. And as you know, the nervous system regulates all processes in the body. In a state of stress (long insult leads the body in this state) it works at the limit of its capabilities and fails.
Any insult – energy. It has a direct impact on our mental and physical condition. To save your health, you need to learn to let the resentment.
Imagine your offense as some kind of energy. Listen to yourself – where it is located in you, what kind of kind is – a form, color, what sensations it causes – it can be hot or cold, scraping, compressing or sliced. Watch it as if from the side: what she does, what he wants to tell you. Listen – Perhaps she will say something important to you, perhaps you even hear, whose voice she speaks with you. Thank you for the lesson, forgive her coming to you and let go, mentally representing how it dissipates, like fog, flies into the sky or disappears in another way.
After that you will feel that I wanted to breathe freely – this was free to the new and joyful in you. Breathe now deep as you want, and imagine that you fill out clean sparky light. Performing regularly this exercise, you will notice that your resentment is already automatically released and you feel liberation.
And men, and women, overcoming the offense in a pair, are on the step higher in their development, and in the future it will be easier for them to find a common language not only with their companion, but also with other people.
About how to learn how to build a relationship without offense at men, see the following video.