In the modern world, the tradition of walling does not play an important role in the marriage of lovers. But before without this rite did not pass any wedding. In the past times, the walling was the main and most important part of the engagement of the hearts of lovers. And today the parents of the marriage can first meet and get acquainted only at the wedding. In Russia, for the rite of walling, the groom chose a certain date when you can ask for a blessing of your favorites. Now, no one pays attention to this nuance, and the day of the matchmaker is mainly appointed on Saturday or Sunday.
To date, the tradition of matchmaking is exclusively a symbolic meaning, but many couples try to revive this ancient custom.
What it is?
Watching is a tradition that originates from the times of ancient Russia. According to custom, the groom together with the matchs should make an official proposal to the girl, initially having received her parents for marriage. This procedure occurs in an intimate setting, among relatives on both sides, without interference with unauthorized persons.
Shatta themselves are relatives from the bride and groom, who are their representatives at this event. Only closest relatives were appointed in Starina Svatami, it could have a boy’s blood or godparents. In the most extreme case, professional guards invited. The main task of the matchmaker from the groom was submitted to their ward from the good side. But besides this, they needed to find out more information about the family of the bride, about the dowry and personal qualities, which the girl could tend.
Modern walling is in the appearance of the groom in front of the bride’s parents with a request to allow young marriage. The decision itself, of course, take lovers, but in order to present themselves to the relatives of the bride from a positive side, it is best to take advantage of traditions. By the way, in our days, the bridegroom is not necessary to come to relatives of his beloved girl with matchmakers. After a while, the native brides are sent to the house of the groom to conduct an official acquaintance with the newly minted relatives.
Traditions of holding
In the distant times walling paid special attention. This tradition was the most serious procedure, rather than the preparation for the conclusion of the marriage union. Mostly the rite was practiced by the bride, but there were cases when the matchmaker went to the guy on behalf of his daughter.
According to the rules of the walling, the young man reported that he found the chosen for himself and he wants to marry her. In some cases, the parents of the groom themselves picked up their son’s suitable bride, explaining this by the fact that the guy is time to get a family. If the groom chosen the bride fell according to the temper, the task of the matchmaker becomes a fees for the Girl itself, about her family, about what kind of dowry.
When approving the choice for a girl in the house, representatives of the groom sent. If the parents did not approve the choice of their son, they went for advice to experienced Swaham. To solve this issue, highly qualified welcomes offered several unmarried fair sex representatives, among which you can make a choice.
The walling process itself passed with all the subtleties and nuances. Shata went to the house to the bride, waiting for the sunset. And then it should be noted right to pay attention to that during the next to the house of the elect, representatives of the bridegroom did not have to see with anyone and, even more so talk. Otherwise, the walling procedure can be diagnosed. Before crossing the threshold of the house of the future bride, Svat is obliged to lean to the door to the door.
According to Russian traditions, the matchmaker must have been carried out in special days of the calendar. For example, during the post, it is categorically forbidden to ask for the blessings from relatives. The number 13, from which itifies negative energy, also refers to the category of forbidden days. After the representatives of the groom crossed the threshold of his lover house, the most interesting began. The conversation about the upcoming wedding began from afar. To do this, it was necessary to pronounce a key phrase: “You have a product, we have a merchant”. Although such phrases in Russia could not read, this wording was the most sought-after.
In the negotiations between future relatives, the girl did not take any participation. She had to be silent, sometimes change their robes, putting on all the best. Yes, and hairstyle at each changed clothes were changed. Sometimes the matchmaker had a desire to see the workshop of the bride skills, for example, how she knits or lace. In this case, the girl presented for everyone to review his own work.
In the process of communication, relatives of both sides tried to tell and describe only the most positive qualities of their wards. This list was attended not only spiritual qualities, but also the material part. By the way, the material responsibility for the well-being of the future family was entirely naked on men’s shoulders. The girl was responsible for calm, beauty, warmth, cleanliness and comfort of the family nest.
Give a positive answer when first visit, the matchmaker was considered an incremental act. Although there are some exceptions, for example, if the girl was not from a rich family or her age crossed the boundaries of a permissible marriage. In these cases, wait for the reconnaissance of the matchmaker was a stupid solution. But for girls from rich families to choose a suitable candidate is extremely difficult. The opinion of his daughter may not come together with the opinion of her parents, and the permanent visits to the matchmaker from different men were often given to such disagreements.
After accepting a positive solution, the relatives of the bride apply a retaliatory visit. They carefully examine the choirs of the future son-in-law to understand how their daughter will move after the conclusion of the marriage union. And only after that the conversations of the wedding begins. This custom in Russian was called “Go to Stamps”, where the real estate of the future son-in-law was considered.
The positive decision of the bride’s parents was expressed in different forms. For example, if they accepted a loaf brought by. In fact, in Russia there were many ways to express their consent or a refusal without pronounce. Relatives of the groom came to wonder the bride, waiting for a positive answer, but did not always receive the desired. In case of refusal, the parents of the bride were handed Wamat Watermelon or Pumpkin. Sometimes they simply put out the door in a rough form. After these actions about the bride and her relatives walked bad glory.
After the entire walling ceremony, the downtown girl acquires the official status of the bride. Nobody and under any circumstances could not come to her and even more so try to wander. Although history is rich in many cases, when the engaged girl ran away with his real beloved from under the crown from the hated groom chosen by her parents.
How is the walling in our time?
Modern walling is interpreted somewhat easier, especially for residents of large megacities. Groom’s matchmakers, or rather, his close relatives can very rarely take advantage of traditional speeches of custom and all the more not to suit. Until this day, only one phrase “You have goods, we have a merchant”. And yet modern waldness is like a vintage rite.
Before you go to the house to the future wife, a man acquires several bouquets of beautiful flowers, which on arrival hands mother, sister and grandmother. The bride itself the bridegroom can order a special flower composition. Schat, who are relatives of the groom, should have special gifts, for example, sweets in beautiful packaging or a basket with fruit and elite alcoholic beverage. In addition, the groom or his mother should be given to the bride a special gift. It may be a necklace or family relics of the family of the future husband.
Both parents of the girl need to hand something special that will leave pleasant impressions and will continue for a long memory. This nuance is best agreed in advance with the bride. As a gift can be suitable photo album, homely charm, handmade candles and other similar kinds of items. The rules of the matchmaker say that after meeting the matchmaker, they should be held for a covering table and for meals to discuss the main reason for the meeting – the wedding.
What to take with you?
Viewing the nuances of modern walling, first of all recall a festive loaf. The woven from the side of the bridegroom must be baking, laid on an embroidered towel in hand. This sign offers the bride to move to the house of the groom. It should be noted that the loaf, like a special guest of the holiday, is present all the time at the event and is eaten at the very end. Alternatively, the tradition of future relatives, namely the woven of the groom and the parents of the bride, tie with the towels. But not everyone uses this rite.
In today’s times, the bridegroom did not press to go to the matchmaker with empty hands. Flowers ladies, gift souvenirs Relatives of the bride and pleasant little things for any reason are required to attend a guy’s pocket. So that the holiday has managed to fame, the scenario of the event should be prepared in advance and work in detail in detail. Experienced Swach will help make a detailed action plan. In this case, modern walling will take place at the highest level.
What to say?
Before going to matchmakers, the relatives of the groom should prepare special words to parents of the bride. They must imagine themselves, the groom and clarify the essence of their visit. After the welcoming stage, the guests go to the house where conversations about the upcoming celebration begin. Understanding the seriousness of the event, the matchmaker should lead any conversations about the wedding folded, but at the same time not to express specific. Wiened phrases will lead to a greater understanding of future relatives.
In fact, conversations as hints take their beginning since Rus. So in case of refusal of the parents of the bride, the bride was not so hurt. And according to the reputation of the girl, this decision will not hit. Since the waldness has been a mandatory element of the wedding rite, Only a few phrases have reached this day, for example:
- “Svat with the truth does not go”+
- “Wool first charca and first stick”+
- “We will guess how to give a girl”.
At the same time in each phrase there is a hidden meaning. According to traditions, in the event of a doubt of the parents of the bride, the words “Thank you for love, matchmaker, and now give the girl not wanting”.
How to behave?
For each participant in the match, its role was prescribed. The main part of the work lies on the shoulders of the woven by the bride. They must be fun and tuned for a positive outcome. In no case by the Schatam you can not talk about the bride or its relatives compromising facts.
Having passed into the girl’s house, the parents of the bride invite the matchmakers for the covered table. In addition to masterpieces of culinary art, there are hot drinks on the table. Since ancient times, since ancient times, the tradition of walling accompanies belief that the matchmaker should not refuse alcohol, thereby confirming the fact of respect and confidence in the bride. The main thing, without fanaticism, so as not to ruin the holiday in love.
The bridegroom himself should behave restrained, he should not twist and so more to demand something. The only thing he needs is to achieve the location of the bride’s parents, thereby having received their blessing. The bride, in turn, should be silently sit and only watch the entire processing. Earlier, the custom demanded a constant dressing up of a girl in the most beautiful outfits, today you can refuse.
Modern gesture allows you to move a little from the official traditions of walling. To ensure that the holiday passed perfectly, the best option will be preliminary preparation and writing a script where everyone will be assigned a special role. To date, comic scenarios are greatly popular, it applies to residents of megacities. It looks very unusual and positively looks like a picture of the groom with matchmakers, musicians and karable it is at the entrance to the entrance where his gap lives.
According to the pre-written scenario, the Swachp acts as a “detective” and asks the bride’s parents to different topics relating to their daughter and family in general. After the answers received, all the attention of guests switches to the bride itself. Its image should eclipse all those present. Swaha suits a girl a few trials to understand whether she deserves to become his ward. After the bride, Swachi starts checking the groom himself.
During the ceremony, the guests and the parents of the bride receive small symbolic souvenirs. For each stage of the script prepare certain toasts. During the tests as musical accompaniment, chastushki and folk songs are used. After the main part of the functions of Swach, it begins to play different games with guests, and then invites a cheerful public to sit for a festive table.
In order to understand the sequence of actions, It is necessary to make a brief plan of the event from which you can start and offer your ideas.
- The arrival of the matchmaker to the house of the future bride. Their meeting should be accompanied by dumbfounders and songs.
- Dating process. Future relatives perhaps first meet, so they need some time for greeting and dating. At this point, the bridegroom hands presents the bridesmaid parents and treats them baked carabically.
- Invitation at the table. The parents of the bride should hold future relatives for a festive feast and sear them in places.
- The appearance of the bride. The girl appears in the very gorgeous image, while her parents must describe the positive qualities of their daughter.
- Recognition in love. The groom should tell how he loves his parent.
- Having received a blessing from the parents of the bride, the process of the matchmaking can be considered completed. Festive cake and tea.
About how to make the bride correctly, look in the following video.